Friday, September 12, 2008

Freshman year

I picked up Bradley from football and he handed me his picture packet. (yes, all ready!) I took out the 8x10 and I looked at it.

And looked at it.

And looked at it.

Not only can I believe he is a freshman all ready, I can't believe how confident he looks in this picture.

I think back to when I was in the 9th grade and I think about him and we are so different in many aspects.

Entering 9th grade....
...I went to 8 years of catholic grade school.
...He went to public school for the last 8 years.

...I knew almost no one in the new "big" school.
...He knows almost everyone.

...I was so shy, intimidated and felt all alone.
....He is confident and doesn't care what anyone thinks.

...I didn't participate in any extra-curricular activities until the end of my 9th gr. year.
...Not only is he in football, he has been asking about wrestling and FFA.

...I would have been embarrassed to talk to my parents about "sex" and those kind of things
...He talks openly about it and even told me some locker room talk last night on the way home. (I think I could have done without some of the info) :-)

So many differences, yet we get along so well. I am so proud of him. He really is a good kid. I don't know what the rest of his 9th grade year has in store. I just hope he lives each day the best he knows how!!!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

I got tagged....

How old will you be in 3 birthdays? 37

What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping

What was the last thing you drank? Diet Coke

Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?Yes, I sleep on the right side if you are layingon the bed.

Do you know how to play poker? yes

Do you know how to drive stick? yes-- barely

Do you still have clothes from when you were little? Only my baptismal gown. I do have high school clothes though.

What are you mad about right now? Nothing

Are you a jealous person? depends. Not usually

Who is the sweetest person you know? Nolan

Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow? Boys have football game so I know it'll be blue and gold

Is your current hair color your natural hair color? no

Have you ever dated anyone more than once? who care

Does anyone like you? My hubby. My kids

What were you doing an hour ago? Writing another chapter for my Disney trip report

Where were you Friday night? A week ago- at the HS football game

Do you wear the seatbelt in the car? Always

Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yes. People say I remind them of someone all the time

What's the closest blue object to you? Label on a water bottle

What is the weather like today? It rained

Has anyone ever told you they love you? Duh- yes

Is tomorrow going to be a good day? I really hope so...

Do you have a pet? Yes, I guess we have 2 cats since 1 stray isn't going away.

Who was the last person you saw in person? Jared

Are you pregnant? I wish.

What do you hear right now? TV- 20/20

What did you do this past Sunday? watched the lawn mower races and went to a neighbors house

When is the last time you slept in a bed with someone? Last night.

Are you happy with life right now? Yes....

Are you on someone else's mind? I hope so....

Any regrets?Yes....see previous posts

What is your favorite fruit? Pineapple

Do you trust people easily? no way

Who do you call the most? My sister

What is your favorite thing to shop for? scrapbooking supplies

What company is your cellphone provider? Cincinnati Bell

In school, how was/is your attendance record? Terrible. Yet I don't miss much work.

Do you like spicy foods? Yes!

At what age did you learn to ride a bike? I was old...4th grade maybe

What's your favorite holiday? Christmas

Have you ever gone to a concert?Yes, Jared took me to my first concert when I was 21 or 23-- KISS.

Ever dyed your hair? Quite a bit.

Would you rather own a snake or a rabbit? Rabbit.

Would you rather spend or save your money? Spend

Do you ever wear hats? yeah, sometimes

Do you ever get hit on? no....I'm losing my touch

Which do you like more, Pepsi or Mountain Dew? Hate Pepsi. Love Diet Mountain Dew

Do you wet the toothbrush before the toothpaste? Yes

What do you like on your toast? Butter and sugar/cinnamon

Where do you like to keep your money? bad habit-- pocket

Do you watch the news daily? Yes. Depressing though.

Do you have over 150 myspace friends? No, not yet

Have you ever gotten into a car crash? yes

Do you like to press the coin return button on everything for free money? No- my mom used to do that it drives me crazy

Do you clean when you're upset? Sometimes. Usually eat.

What day of the week did/will your birthday fall on this year? Saturday. I spent it watching the boys play football.

Did you wear clip-on/stick-on earrings as a child? LOL yes!

Have you ever seen Walk the Line? yes

Have you eaten pancakes in the past week? No.

Are puddles the best part about rain? No-- especailly if they are on the road.

Do you have curtains in your room? yes

Do you have plans for tonight? Sleep! It's getting late!

Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone? No

Do you have your nails done? no

Are sunsets romantic? They are beautiful. I love them.

Do you know anyone with Alzheimer's? No. But my mom might be close.

Can you sing all the RENT songs by heart? OMG, yes!

Red or green apples? Red- gala

Do you know anyone who's pregnant? Yes

Can you make brownies without having to look at the directions? OMG- leave my brownie story alone!!!!

Are crayons better than colored pencils? no

Do you have hairspray in your hair? Yes

What were you doing at 9:30 AM? Working....hard :-)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Unexpected Destination

If anyone knows me very well, you know I have always wanted a daughter. Always. All my life. Going back to my Ken and Barbie days when I would make them lay on top of each other and then magically have them have kids. They always had at least 2 girls. The names would vary-- Kayla, Sophie, Samantha, etc... Going back to the time when my mom would say "I can't wait until you have a daughter just like you who treats you like you treat me" and I would say "I can't wait either". You see, I have always wanted that daughter.

After Nolan was born, Jared and I decided that he should get a vasectomy. The day of the procedure, I knew we weren't making the right decision. But I didn't have enough courage to say "Wait-- I think we're making a mistake". When the doctor asked me if I was sure, I remember saying "We can always adopt". So for years, I've been saying I wanted to adopt a daughter.

Last week, after a "I want a daughter" conversation with Jared, I went to bed in tears. After several days of avoiding the subject and not bringing it up, he finally texts me this:

At first, I was a little "mad" because of 2 words: "Let me". Not sure why but I didn't like the way we worded it. Like I was asking for permission? Then, I got a little excited!

Well, that night (and every night since) we talked about having another child. He said he has been doing some "soul searching". Last night, we had an awesome talk-- stayed up past midnight.

If I heard him right, these are some of his "thoughts":
  • We finally have it "easy".
  • He's not looking forward to changing diapers
  • We would have to buy a new vehicle
  • He won't be able to take care of a newborn while he is coaching ball so we would need a sitter until I get home from work
  • We'll need to be a little more "tight" with our money (why he said that in the text)
  • Doesn't want to be confined to the house for 2 years-- we are finally able to "get up and go" and do things
  • He's not excited at all but once she's here, he knows he'll love her.
  • I definitely have to get on medicine if I decide to have one after it's born because I am a moody b!tch with post pardum blues.
  • He'll do anything to make me happy because he loves me with all his heart. (awww)

We talked about a reversal or adopting and he is leaving that decision to me. It's such a hard decision to make. It's like comparing apples to oranges. To me, I like them both-- they both taste sweet, taste good and any day, I would eat either one.

I have looked in the reversal and I'm not sure that is the right option. Especially when there is no guarantee-- even after paying $5,000. The alternative is invitro. I know it's against some people beliefs, but it is an option that I am open to. Especially since my insurance company pays for 90% of it (but no meds- darn).

Then there is also the adoption route. I have us signed up for the October foster-to-adopt classes. I'm so apprehensive on some things. I'm afraid that the child will want to find their birth parents some day and I think that would break my heart (like I'm not good enough). I'm scared of the birth parents trying to get the child back and that- of course- would devastate me. I'm afraid we won't get approved to adopt. But it is "cheaper" than the alternative AND I am guaranteed a "daughter".

People are so quick to judge me. For example: "You are crazy for wanting another child" or "You have a perfect family now" or "Why do you want to go through that". Well, maybe that's how THEY feel. I feel it would be a blessing. Something I have always wanted.

I'm just scared of making the wrong decision. I'm 34. The clock is ticking. What to do. What to do.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

WDW trip report

I FINALLY started my trip report from the family WDW trip in June. Check it out!!!

As always, you better post your comments!
And if you are family, you have to read to keep me in check. My memory on a few things are a little fuzzy!

September all ready?

Are you serious? September?! I'm not ready to say good-bye to summer! Yesterday was Labor Day--to me the official end to summer. Yes, it's still hot outside. Yes, you can still jump in a pool. Yes, the kids have been in school for over 2 weeks now. Yes, my flowers are still blooming. I know all of that- but as of yesterday, summer is over! I guess I better start making my Christmas list.

Jared and I always find something to send money on during the Memorial or Labor Day weekends. For example, we bought his truck on Memorial Day and we bought my car on Labor Day. Sunday, I was scrapbooking and he says to me "Let's go buy a TV" (for the basement) so we headed to Best Buy. You have to understand, Jared worked on finishing "his" space for a long time. He did it cheap as possible-- collecting leftover stuff from job sites. Not sure how much-- or should I say how little he has in it, but we finished the basement with very little money. Now comes the time for the "big" expense. I really didn't want to drain the savings BUT this bare, finished space was driving me more crazy! Prior to going to Best Buy Jared picked out a smaller TV but once we got to the store, we decided to go bigger. Especially since they took my 12% off coupon even though it was all ready on sale. So here it is- our new TV! It's not 100% set up yet but it's still exciting! Next purchase will be the 2 Bengals couches that he designed this whole room around. Guess that will be next Memorial Day!!! I can't wait!!!!